So, I asked Jo, my blogging mentor, 'There is only so much I can write about my art, so how do I blog?'. Her response was 'Life! write about life, your inspiration, your fears, what makes you tick'. So I got to thinking and realised that there is no shortage of material in my life so far. I am one of those people who, through no fault of my own, lurch from crisis to crisis. Anyone who knows me will confirm that I am truly a living breathing crisis magnet.

Let me give you an example. I received an emergency call one day, some years ago, and heard the distressing news that my daughter Laura had contracted a very serious strain of Dengue fever and was in a very serious condition. She was on her gap year and was backpacking with her sister Keely through Asia and currently working on Phi Phi Island. Her condition had deteriorated so badly that she was about to be flown by private air ambulance to the Bangkok Hospital. Within hours I was on a flight to Thailand and her bedside. Her mother was also winging her way from the UK. When we arrived Laura's condition was grave and we spent the next three days terrified for her life. Thankfully the hospital knew exactly what it was doing and after few days she started to show signs of recovery. After 10 days she was allowed to leave and although weak, she had survived her awful ordeal.

I share this with you simply to paint the background of events that led to probably one on of the most embarrassing moments of my life. After a long stressful day at the hospital I returned to my hotel where I took dinner and washed it down with more than a few beers. I then went to my room on the 5th floor around 8 o clock in the evening, showered and turned in for an early night. I was quickly fell into a deep sleep. Then some time later I half awoke and felt my way through the dark to the toilet. My eyes still closed I entered the bathroom and clicked the door behind me. I opened my eyes and winced at the sudden burst of piercing bright light. I snapped instantly into reality and with wide awake horror found myself in the brightly lit hotel corridor, naked! I spun to the door rattling the handle preying it would open. It didn't. I leant by back against the door shaking in horror. How the hell was I going to get out of this? Then, as my mind racing with the thought that this couldn't get worse, it did.

There was a party in the room opposite and I could hear shouting and laughing but then the volume increased as the revellers headed for the door. Male and female voices shouting 'goodnight, goodnight' the door due to open at any moment. Without another thought I turned and began to sprint down the long thickly carpeted corridor. Finally I reached the lifts and stood before the doors gasping for breath and grasping for some plan to formulate in my head. Trembling sweating, I just wanted the ground to open and swallow me up. Then I heard the sound of one of the lifts approaching, the floor numbers counting down .... 'Bing... Bing... Bing ... BONG! Lurching in horror I dashed through the door into the stairwell and peered through the small glass window as the occupants passed by, heading to their rooms. Should I take the stairs to the lobby? What would I do when I got there? Stride confidently across the busy area and explain my predicament to the concierge? Then as I contemplated throwing myself over the stair rail I notice a ridiculously small flannel on the floor, no more then 8 inches square. I grabbed it and shook it out and delicately holding the top two corners held it in front of me to offer at least a modicum of dignity. With a deep breath I headed out of the door and began to walk up the corridor back towards my room. My plan, to knock on the door nearest my room and throw myself on the mercy of the stranger inside. However, as I walked gingerly up the corridor, the couple who had been saying their goodbyes were now walking hand in hand towards me. They stopped dead in there tracks and laughed and backed up to the room they had just left. One of them banged on the door and as it opened I heard the guy exclaim 'Mate, you got to see this!' then another couple emerged and they all stood and stared at me then burst out laughing. When I approached them one of the girls ran into the room and emerged with a towel. I thanked them and turned and wrapped it around myself. I don't think I have ever blushed so much, my face must have been beetroot in colour. Once they had finished laughing at me they called the reception and a security guard was soon striding up the corridor. He asked for my room number and I told him. Then he asked probably the most stupid question I have heard in my life. 'Can I see your ID?'. One look at the sheer anger on my face and he swiftly opened my door and said 'goodnight sir!'

I closed the door, leant my back against it and slid down to the floor, staring traumatised at the opposite wall. Like is said, Crisis Magnet. The only positive thing about these events was the story I was able to tell my daughters the following morning. I am sure their hysterical laughter was as therapeutic as any of the medicines in the intravenous drip.